Where are all the LGBTIQ leaders?
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A LITTLE BACK STORY…
The workplace has never been more LGBTIQ friendly, yet we’re still grossly under-represented in boardrooms around the world. Statistically you’d expect to find 23-30 LGBTIQ CEOs in the FORTUNE 500. In reality we find only one. Even inside organizations that have high-profile Diversity and Inclusion strategies, a meaningful increase in the number of senior LGBTIQ leaders just hasn’t materialized.
“The positively glacial rate of progress is one of the greatest mysteries of nature.”
FORTUNE 500
1 in 500
Only 1 in 500 Fortune 500 CEOs is openly LGBTIQ
FTSE100
1 in 100
Only 1 in100 FTSE 100 CEOs is openly LGBTIQ
10–30%
LESS $
Openly gay men earn 10-30% less than heterosexual men
50%
50% of LGBTIQ employees don’t know of any LGBTIQ leaders in their organisation
WHAT'S GOING ON
Over the last six years I’ve been granted intimate access to the lives and careers of high-achieving LGBTIQ people in my private coaching practice. I’ve heard hundreds of extraordinary LGBTIQ leaders explain a variation on the following pattern.
They describe a flourishing early career where they were often identified as a high-achiever, only to run into difficulties as they reach more senior positions.
While some of my clients have undoubtedly experienced forms of prejudice, by an enormous margin they report that the primary barrier to their success is themselves.
They are often working in completely unsustainable ways and living perpetually on the edge of burn-out. They have trouble speaking up and challenging the status-quo for fear of negative consequences. And they often report difficulty in quickly building the deep connections they need with clients and co-workers.
The program has transformed how I see myself as a queer woman, as a mother and as a leader. It has given me the foundation to explore my potential courageously and unapologetically. I see myself now - my real self. It’s liberating and exciting.
Internalised homophobia – an invisible enemy
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There’s no enemy more insidious than one you can’t see.
Underlying these challenges we often find that unbeknownst to the talented LGBTIQ person, they have absorbed and personalised the shaming messages of an institutionally homophobic society. They live on an exhausting ‘hamster wheel’ where they are stuck in a never-ending attempt to prove themselves and receive the validation they so often tragically didn’t receive in their formative years.
Having heard similar stories 1-1 from so many brilliant LGBTIQ leaders in my Coaching practice, and having witnessed the incredible impact of the interventions we designed, I was utterly compelled to create programmes to help many more LGBTIQ people. Leaders who without even consciously knowing it and for no fault of their own, were being held back by an inner-critic which formed from seeds of doubt sown by a heterosexist society. One of my clients said it best:
“I don’t need society to hold me back anymore, because society has trained me how to do that all by myself.”
I can’t thank the program enough for how it has changed my life. Fundamentally, the program has changed the relationship that I have with myself. I’m a lot kinder to myself, less self loathing, a lot more patient and celebrate myself. Words cannot convey how thankful I am for changing the course of my life forever.
The LGBTIQ glass ceiling
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In an attempt to prove themselves, many LGBTIQ leaders unconsciously build their success on the 3P’s : Perfectionism, People-pleasing and Pretending. Their dedication to ‘perfection’ marks them out as a high achiever at the start of their career. And it works! The person’s career accelerates rapidly based on this ‘success formula’.
Yet when they reach higher levels of leadership responsibility the formula starts to fail them at precisely the moment they need it to work the most!
Perfectionism starts to look like micro-management. People-pleasing emerges as a huge obstacle to clear communication. Pretending makes it hard to build trusted relationships quickly. The paradox of success is that most of what gets you to the current level of success, holds you back from reaching the next. Until LGBTIQ leaders become aware of their pattern, they can become stuck in a disheartening, confidence-sapping progress plateau.
Career progress
Innovation & risk-taking
Saying no
Authencity
Perfectionism
People-pleasing
Pretending
Time
The program was a revelation! I found myself at a small desk, half a metre from my bed, guided by the wisdom and patience of a handful of quietly powerful people. I feel truly infinite. In addition to discovering myself, I got to deeply know some incredibly inspiring people.
The 3 steps to Authentic Leadership
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Life-changing interventions
All of our programs are designed to help participants shift their emphasis away from the extrinsic drivers that leave them at the mercy of others’ approval, in favor of a more introspective discovery of their values, passions and talents. Equipped with a deeper sense of their ‘authentic self’ we then support LGBTIQ leaders to develop their own unique leadership vision and purpose. There are three stages to the process:
KNOW THYSELF
As children, so many LGBTIQ people had to pay careful attention to how others received them, in order to stay safe. This led many of us to over-ride our own instincts in order to win the approval of care-givers, peers and the wider community. Stage one is about helping participants re-connect with their authentic values, passions and talents.
OWN THYSELF
Often clients come to discover that the traits they were invalidated for, are in fact the source of their greatest talents. One client made a revelatory discovery, when he realised that the sensitivity he was always chastised for (boys don’t cry right?) could actually enable him to quickly create the psychological safety we know underpins high-performance. Nonetheless, clients often need a period of support to ‘de-contaminate’ a trait they’ve believed for decades is ‘wrong’ ‘undesirable’ or ‘bad’.
SHOW THYSELF
This is probably the most exciting step, the moment of liberation! Participants are ready to share themselves with the world, in a way that’s authentic and not self- conscious. LGBTIQ leaders are able to access greater levels of self-expression, innovation and risk-taking. They are also able to form deeper connections with key stakeholders and communicate powerfully without withholding or censoring who they are.
I went into this program thinking it was going to be quite work-specific: some mentor-y stuff, some leadership stuff, some tools on how to carry yourself in the office. It has been far more comprehensive. It’s been a process of understanding who I am, how I act, and what drives me.
LGBTIQ Authentic Leaders program
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Groups of 9+ participants go on a genuinely transformative journey inwards. Over six life-changing months we go deep and leaders emerge with clarity of purpose, a deep connection to their core values and the confidence to communicate powerfully, from the heart.
6 MONTHS DURATION
IMPACT: TRANSFORMATIVE
9 PARTICIPANTS PER GROUP
PRICE RANGE: $5K PER HEAD
The LGBTIQ Authentic leadership program takes participants on a powerful journey of self- discovery. Over six life-changing months, participants learn about what gender identity and
sexuality have to do with leadership. We unpack how Perfectionism, People-pleasing and Pretending (collectively known as the 3P’s) are constraining their leadership. Participants spend time reflecting on their Passions, Talents and Values. They learn how to lead flexibly while never losing the true essence that makes them uniquely them.
They are challenged not only to find out about themselves, but to concretely and practically go out into their lives and embody the true self they’ve uncovered. Participants hone their communication skills by learning to express themselves intentionally and impact-fully. The program concludes with an opportunity for participants to share their unique leadership Purpose.
THE NUTS AND BOLTS
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Designed from the ground up to be delivered virtually and tailored to create a psychologically safe space for LGBTIQ leaders to explore themselves
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Duration: 6 months
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Blended learning/coaching environment comprising a mixture of:
Online leadership retreats with experiential activities, group coaching and triad breakout discussions,
1-1 deep coaching,
Inspiring multi-media coaching pre-work activities Peer support and feedback with LGBTIQ colleagues.
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Our most transformative experience. First availability is now in 2023.